put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
