We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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