Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They have beer where we have blood.
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