I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
