just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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