Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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