so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
