I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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