I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
