hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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