I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
