Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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