yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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