i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
