What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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