Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize