if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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