the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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