my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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