i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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