Cold hands, warm shart.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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