do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize