No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
