He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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