I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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