i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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