Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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