I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize