trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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