Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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