the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
