i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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