New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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