She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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