Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
