My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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