My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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