great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
