Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
