Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
