you turned your livingroom into a bong?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
