Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
