$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize