yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
one two three fourrrrnication!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
