Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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