so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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