her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
