3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize