"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
