If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
