If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
