do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
