I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize