You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
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I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
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You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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