So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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