i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
