That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
