my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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