Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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